From the moment a pregnancy test confirms a positive result our lives become governed by a series of important milestones, each one moving us closer to the birth. Sadly for a small percentage of couples, this journey isn’t always a smooth one and with little warning whatsoever, traumatic events such as ectopic pregnancy, miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal loss can happen.
The overwhelming shock of such events is impossible to comprehend and even harder to express in writing. Loosing a much yearned for baby is a wholly numbing experience, whether you loose your little one a few days before your twelve week scan, on the eve of your due date or in the hours, days or weeks following birth.
Nothing prepares a parent for the shock and trauma they feel physically and emotionally. Whilst in the back of our minds we acknowledge the fact that ‘things’ can trip us up on the path to parenthood, none of us ever expect, nor are we ever prepared for those events becoming our reality.
Outwardly, men and women cope with loss in different ways. Women will often talk and share, seeking solace in the company of others they can emotionally connect with. Conversely, men tend to withdraw and may appear outwardly as if they are lacking in emotion or in complete denial. This could not be further from the truth. The emotional impact affects both parents equally.
Whether you are coming to terms with the emotional despair of recurrent early miscarriage or the trauma of stillbirth close to term, help is here for you when you feel ready to release the feelings of emotional overwhelm associated with your loss.
Therapy does not erase or distort the memory of this painful event. It does however dissolve the emotional charge, the crippling feelings of despair that can be triggered by all manner of experiences and associations following your loss. Treatment does not necessitate the lengthy and traumatic recounting of your personal trauma unless you choose to do so. It merely requires you to mentally associate with key aspects in the privacy of your own mind. This benefits many fathers who are extremely uncomfortable with the idea of traditional forms of ‘talk’ therapy and therefore avoid seeking professional help when they need it most.
Grief brings many overpowering emotions to the surface; denial, isolation, anger, loneliness, deep sorrow and guilt to name but a few. Grieving is a process which dependent on our individual and cultural circumstances dictates different needs. However, if feelings of overwhelm begin to have a longer term affect on your quality of life, if you find yourself using avoidance as your coping mechanism, then treatment will enable you to dissolve these overpowering emotions and move forward towards feelings of acceptance.
To explore professional help for grief and loss when you are ready, click here to contact Joanne.
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