Deciding to start a family marks a major turning point in the lives of every couple who choose to cross the bridge to parenthood. Hand in hand with this decision comes an emotional, physical, mental and practical journey which navigated well and with the right support, presents positive challenges and is thoroughly enjoyable and exhilarating in equal measure. For some, parenthood arrives as a shock discovery which requires emotional adjustment to come to terms with what lies ahead. Beyond this though, we are all on the same road of new experiences and learning.
Regardless of where you are starting from right now, as with any other major life event change is inevitable and it will impact all areas of your life from your emotional and physical health, to your finances, sense of independence and lifestyle choices moving forward.
Trying for a baby...
The whole process of trying for a baby can sometimes feel like a daunting feat in itself. One of the common areas I work through with clients in coaching is a reassessment of their current lifestyle, thoughts, feelings and beliefs to ensure that they have congruency in these areas and are not inadvertently blocking their own success to achieving conception.
Often, I hear from a couple who are struggling to conceive and where tests have returned a verdict of unexplained infertility. In many of these cases a closer inspection of lifestyle, work-life balance and their ‘inner programming’ reveals little provision in their current lifestyle for the demands of a baby. Extensive working hours, high stress levels, limiting beliefs and a lack of attention to suppressed negative emotions are often the obstacles stacked in the path of this most emotive goal to becoming parents. Typically, most couples have started to address healthy eating habits and exercise and yet completely miss other equally aspects which impact conception.
So, whether you are about to start trying for a baby or feel frustrated and challenged by unexplained infertility, I can help you to shape up your life to accommodate the demands of starting a family. By clearing unnecessary stress, eliminating counterproductive emotional patterns and creating 'space' in your life for a baby, your chances of conceiving will improve dramatically.
Expectant Dad...
If you are a father-to-be or looking forward to this status, I can help you address your fears and anxieties about fatherhood, teach you a toolkit to disarm negative emotions and equip you with essential skills to help keep your partner calm and positive during pregnancy, labour, birth and the period of transition following birth. Coaching will also enable you to gain clarity and unearth the answers you need to make important decisions moving forward. For example, a common concern facing many prospective fathers is juggling financial responsibility with work-life balance, to be able to provide in every practical sense for their family without compromising on the time, emotional support and attention their partner and newborn will need. Naturally, achieving balance, having a sense of direction and feeling equipped for what many men feel is a giant leap into the unknown, really is priceless.
Expectant Mum...
When we turn our attention to the support needed and very much wanted by women who are considering or preparing for motherhood, it is fair to say that we value unbiased emotional support, and so often, aside from practical thinking space, we need simply to be heard and to clear the unwanted emotional overload that is hovering dangerously close to the surface and this level of support can feel overwhelming for our partners. This is a prime example of where the support and care of a specialist coach can really help, taking the pressure off your relationship and progressively preparing you mentally and emotionally for the changes in store on your pregnancy journey. You can feel supported by someone ready to listen and provide you with the space to find your own answers to problems, offer simple, effective therapeutic techniques to clear emotional overwhelm or teach you breathing and relaxation exercises to prepare you for the birth.
Interestingly, in my experience working with women who have postnatal depression or are coming to terms with a difficult birth experience, a common theme amongst many of them is a deep sense of lacking control, often traced back to the start of their pregnancy journey. Struggling to come to terms with their hormone induced emotional rollercoaster rides, the dramatic changes to their physical form and feelings of becoming public property to all and sundry, it is easy to see how any expectant mother could begin to feel a lack of control however this needn't be the case.
Whilst nine months may seem like plenty of time to come to terms with the transition involved in pregnancy, it is in fact a very short period of time given the rapid adjustment necessary to cope with what is happening on a physical, mental and emotional level. I have certainly noticed that the women who benefit from ongoing emotional and practical support throughout their pregnancies, are more calm, confident and prepared for birth and the days, weeks, months and years that follow. Beyond the anticipated low moments in the first few days following birth where hormones are in a state of adjustment, these women feel and act differently. They are much more together, they have a sense of direction despite being new to motherhood, they feel organised and handle the inevitable challenges of motherhood much more comfortably.
So what are some of the benefits of a coaching relationship? Let's take a look...
Emotional calm and a greater sense of self
You can clear unwanted thoughts, feelings, emotions, fears, phobias, limiting beliefs and behaviour patterns in session and learn a toolkit to self-treat issues of this nature in the future. So, whether your anxiety is about being a good parent or anxiety over your rapidly changing body image, fears about birth, needles or hospitals, any issue can be 'nipped in the bud', enabling you to think clearly, calmly and without all that unwanted emotional baggage.
Challenges aired and solutions identified
If you are facing a challenge or a problem which has implications on your pregnancy, your role as a father or the nuts and bolts of early parenting, you can use the reflective time working with your coach to air these concerns. By assessing the presenting challenge, identify the real obstacles, exploring how you could tackle it and then creating a plan of action to resolve the problem, you can benefit from the space to think creatively 'outside the box' without needing to trouble your partner until you have a potential solution or two in your pocket. Dealing with issues as they present, rather than letting them snowball is best for you, your relationship and your baby.
An easier, more relaxed pregnancy journey
Whether you are a prospective mother or father, from the beginning of our work together, one of our key areas of attention will involve identifying the 'stressors' in your life, dealing with them and installing practical solutions to achieve inner and outer calm. This is vital if you want a relaxed pregnancy or want to enjoy the benefits of a relaxed partner to come home to at the end of the day! Tackling work-life balance issues on both sides of the fence and learning a toolkit for relaxation will have a positive, cummulative effect on your relationship and benefit your baby. Your pregnancy journey will be an easier one, paving the way for a better birth experience and a positive launch pad into parenthood.
A significantly better birth experience for both of you
Learning a few basics about anatomy, physiology and how a mother's body gears up in preparation for labour and birth is invaluable for both parents. This combined with an effective toolkit for breathing and relaxation, makes a huge difference when it comes to the birth. If you are the birth partner, you will be better equipped to support your partner through the key stages of labour and birth and all birthing mothers will benefit from feeling truly ready for the event, as it is as much about mental preparation at this stage as it is about the practical aspects of birthing.
A smoother transition from 'expectant parent' to 'new parent'
We will take time to look ahead to life after birth and explore the issues that crop up in the first few days and weeks following birth, tackling all the common concerns about being able to cope, whether that is due to a perceived lack of new parenting skills or dealing with a lack of sleep, or handling well-meaning advice from over enthusiastic parents and inlaws. We will explore a routine that works for you, your partner and new baby to ensure that as far as is possible, everyone's needs are taken into consideration moving forward. The confidence, calm and organisation established in pregnancy coupled with greater preparation for birth and a supportive partner will positively impact life after birth and dramatically minimise the chances of postnatal depression.
An easier transition from paternity and maternity leave to 'back to work'
Here we will explore the issues of returning to work, whether that is full-time or part-time and the necessary changes you will want to make to your work life to ensure balance between this and family time. Work-life balance will need ongoing fine-tuning and we will take the initial measures to ensure that good foundations are in place for the future.
Coaching sessions take place over the phone with email support between sessions. Sessions are scheduled and settled in advance. After an initial session to explore your needs and establish what you would most like to work on in the initial sessions, session are booked in blocks of four and can be arranged to take place weekly or once a fortnight. You are not tied to a coaching program for the duration of your pregnancy. The only prerequisites are that you call on time for each session and provide adequate notice in the event that you need to reschedule a session.
The coaching relationship is geared primarily to offering you support, strategies, motivation and where appropriate, therapeutic tools in the form of self-hypnosis techniques and Thought Field Therapy to support your emotional journey from conception to birth.
The finer details of specialist nutritional programs for fertility and pregnancy, medical management of ongoing or pregnancy related health issues, midwife appointments and health visitor checks remain with your healthcare providers and specialist natural health practitioners.
And now it's over to you...
The transition to parenthood is one of life's greatest challenges and brings with it some of life's greatest rewards. It can also be hugely demanding in a way we little expect at the outset. The support, care and nurturing relationship of a dedicated coach from the prenatal stages through to the first year following birth can make a real difference in this wonderful life event for mums, dads and the little bundles of joy we bring into the world.
If you would like to discuss a coaching program to support all or part of your journey, then please click here to drop me a line or alternatively jot down my number 01276 21386 to talk further.
I look forward to speaking with you...
Site Content © Joanne Wren 2007