Breastfeeding
Caroline contacted me a week into life as a new mum. Experiencing a crisis of confidence with breastfeeding, a friend from her NCT group suggested she call to see if I could help her get past her anxiety about feeding.
When we spoke over the phone, Caroline said she felt very low and felt like she was failing before she was out of the starting blocks as a new mum because she couldn’t get to grips with something as basic as feeding her daughter. One of the greatest hurdles new mums face with breastfeeding is their confidence. Confidence can be very fragile in those early days following the birth and we all want to prove we can get it right.
We expect breastfeeding to be natural and instinctive and feel demoralised when it is more challenging than anticipated. Mums are often unprepared for what engorgement is going to feel like which adds to the shock and physical discomfort when they are struggling to get their babies to latch on successfully or anxious about doing so to get relief.
So, we agreed to schedule a session by phone when Caroline’s husband could be on hand to look after their daughter. Caroline explained that she had spent time with three different midwives in hospital and a session with the breastfeeding advisor. They were all confident that Caroline’s baby was latching on quite fine and reminded her that this was new for both mum and baby and that it would feel more comfortable and easier as the days went on.
The real issues that needed working through were Caroline’s emotional response. At the start of Caroline’s session, I asked her what her most dominant emotion was when she thought about breastfeeding and her immediate response was a feeling of failure, so we cleared this emotion and the next emotion Caroline identified was frustration at taking so long to get her daughter to latch on comfortably and finding it a difficult and unrewarding task. As we worked through the frustration, we quickly move to the overwhelming anxiety she felt after a feed, knowing that the next feed would arrive again soon. Caroline’s anxiety levels also shot up when she heard her baby crying because she panicked about needing to feed again.
As we started to make some progress with dissolving the negative emotions, Caroline volunteered a passing comment from her mother-in-law about how women who didn’t breastfeed their babies were failing as mothers from the very beginning. When I quizzed Caroline a little more on this comment, she admitted that it had been on her mind a lot since she had arrived home and that it probably contributed towards her anxiety. So, I asked Caroline to focus on this comment and worked through the emotions feeding off from it. The relief in Caroline’s voice was hard to miss and the feelings of guilt and shame we had been about clear before the mother-in-law revelation had simply evaporated.
Before the end of our call I could hear Caroline’s baby crying in the background. I asked her if she was willing to have a go whilst we were still on the phone together and see how comfortable she felt about the anticipation and latching on process. Caroline was feeling calm and a little bemused at how relaxed she was feeling. She noticed that when she held her daughter, the frantic feeling had disappeared and feeling calmer she was able to persevere and get the contact right. She was very relieved to report that it was working and whilst she was gritting her teeth a bit waiting for the initial discomfort, it went much better than she expected.
That single session helped Caroline to overcome the emotional issues blocking her confidence and she continued to breastfeed her daughter for over a year in the end.
If you would like help to resolve confidence issues with breastfeeding, then the Pure Therapy Programme is the page to visit next. Alternatively, use the form below to drop me a line or call and speak with me directly on 01276 21386.
Conception & Birth Services
Pure Therapy Programme Brief therapy to dissolve your fears, phobias, anxieties and any emotional trauma. This programme focuses on calming your mind, restoring your confidence and self-esteem, giving you back a sense of control in your life as well as the clarity to make important decisions.
Essential Support Programme Regular, short check-in sessions by phone to keep you calm, relaxed, optimistic and positively focused between significant milestones from conception to birth. The therapeutic toolkit enables sabotaging emotional wobbles to be dissolved in an instant.
HypnoBirthing® Classes The ultimate in birth preparation classes to teach both you and your partner how to use hypnotic relaxation skills, special breathing techniques and endorphin releasing massage to manage the physical demands of labour and feel calm, relaxed and confident during the birth.
Parent Coaching Programme No baby arrives with a manual and few parents have endless hours to devour a ‘how to’ book. Parent coaching is a supportive route to helping you create your own practical solutions to whatever parenting challenges you are facing, in time sensitive short sessions.