Parenting Confidence
Claire contacted me in a tearful state in her third week as a new mum. She sounded worn out and on edge as she explained that her mother was staying for a fortnight to help out whilst her husband was away on business. Claire’s mother was rapidly undermining her confidence and she felt suffocated by the continual criticisms and endless unsolicited advice.
Whilst we could easily have cleared the emotions relating to this situation over the phone, I felt it would benefit Claire to get out beyond her four walls at home and work with me face-to-face where she could speak openly and get the full support and encouragement she needed in person.
We scheduled an appointment to fit around feeds and I suggested that Claire brought her baby with her so that I could see her in ‘mum mode’. When Claire arrived for her session, her newborn was fast asleep having fed just before they left, so we had a good window of time to work in. I had asked Claire to list all the things that were causing tension, especially where she felt undermined or intimidated by her mother. Talking each of these issues through, we were able to get to the root of each one, isolate the troublesome emotion and dissolve it with ease.
By the time we had whittled through the list, Claire was much more relaxed and able to take a mental step back and acknowledge that her mum’s presence was a necessity for the fortnight and that she desperately needed encouragement and breathing space to do things her way, with advice and suggestions when she asked for them.
We used the remainder of the session to create a structure to Claire’s day and devise simple routines which her mum could really provide some great help with such as preparing meals, afternoon pram walks whilst Claire got some rest to cope with the night feeds and just the simple things all new mum’s crave, like cover whilst she relaxed a bit in the bath - simple steps and structure to make the remainder of the fortnight beneficial.
It is very easy as a new mum, to feel completely exhausted and overwhelmed and everyone seems to be full of advice with their take on where you are going wrong. Confidence dents easily and feelings of overwhelm can extend beyond the normalcy of the baby blues. A little bit of unbiased help – in Claire’s case a two hour appointment to dissolve overwhelm and put a structure in place to improve matters, can make the world of difference.
Claire stayed in touch over the next month and things finally started to feel natural and more manageable near the end of her second month as a new mum. Claire reported back that the structure had helped her make the most of having her mum’s support and the confidence she returned home with gave her the courage to speak frankly about the help she really needed to receive.
If you would like to find out how I can help you as you find your feet as a new mum, visit my Essential Support Programme page. Alternatively, use the form below to drop me a line or call and speak with me directly on 01276 21386.
Conception & Birth Services
Pure Therapy Programme Brief therapy to dissolve your fears, phobias, anxieties and any emotional trauma. This programme focuses on calming your mind, restoring your confidence and self-esteem, giving you back a sense of control in your life as well as the clarity to make important decisions.
Essential Support Programme Regular, short check-in sessions by phone to keep you calm, relaxed, optimistic and positively focused between significant milestones from conception to birth. The therapeutic toolkit enables sabotaging emotional wobbles to be dissolved in an instant.
HypnoBirthing® Classes The ultimate in birth preparation classes to teach both you and your partner how to use hypnotic relaxation skills, special breathing techniques and endorphin releasing massage to manage the physical demands of labour and feel calm, relaxed and confident during the birth.
Parent Coaching Programme No baby arrives with a manual and few parents have endless hours to devour a ‘how to’ book. Parent coaching is a supportive route to helping you create your own practical solutions to whatever parenting challenges you are facing, in time sensitive short sessions.