Biological Clock
Fiona contacted me on the recommendation of a friend. She was eager to start trying for a baby and with lifestyle and diet improvements in place, she wanted to turn her attention to clearing negative thoughts and fears about her ability to conceive in her thirties.
Fiona’s main issues were a concern about her age, despite being just 32, a very common age for many women to start their families these days and in conversation seemed very fixed on having a home birth. When I questioned her apparent discomfort at the thought of a hospital birth, she explained that a bad experience in hospital a few years earlier for a minor operation had put her off medical environments. Fiona believed the care would be better in a home birth.
We started therapy by focusing on Fiona’s anxiety about her age. This stemmed from comments made by her mother and grandmother who had both had their children in their early twenties. Fiona, very keen on pursuing her career, had never planned on starting her family before she was in her thirties. Now Fiona had reached the point where she wanted a baby, there were some pretty hard-wired beliefs causing surfacing and causing her to feel overly anxious about her ability to conceive. With so many comments over the years about how she was’ leaving it all rather late’ and how she ‘ought to get a move on before she missed her chance to have a family altogether’, we had a few beliefs to dissolve here. Fiona was also getting the same concerned comments from her sister, who had both her children before reaching thirty.
Age is something that many women worry about. We see someone struggling to conceive, make comparisons and start to pigeon-hole ourselves with the same likely outcome before we’ve even given ourselves a chance to try. We can also become panicked by statistics and concerns about the health of a baby conceived in our thirties despite the fact that plenty of healthy babies are born each year to ‘older’ mothers. It is easy to lose sight of the fact that we are individuals and our experiences are not predetermined by the experiences of a close friend or a family member.
Self-care improves our ability to conceive, to enjoy a trouble free pregnancy and manage well in labour and birth. We can all benefit from clearing negative thoughts, beliefs and traumatic memories and this is certainly true for many of the women I see with unexplained or secondary infertility issues.
Fiona’s belief that she might have difficulty conceiving easily because of her age, cleared down quickly. We cleared the feelings of resentment and jealousy she felt towards her younger sister and some surprising feelings of intimidation connected to both her mum and her grandmother. Once this issue collapsed Fiona was eager to clear the negative experiences of her period in hospital.
Regardless of where a client wants to birth, it is important that they remain flexible and confident in whatever environment they find themselves in during labour and birth. For this reason, I was keen to clear this negative association with hospital environments so that Fiona would relax in labour and feel comfortable in the event of requiring a hospital delivery.
Fiona’s anxiety about hospitals was due to feelings of abandonment during what had been an unfortunate overstretched night shift when she was in for a routine minor operation. She had experienced uncomfortable pain levels post operatively and had failed to get the necessary assistance for analgesia. Once we cleared the trauma and associated emotions of anger, abandonment and the memory of physical pain, Fiona felt a huge sense of relief and distance from the whole experience. She was also able to focus more positively on the lovely staff that had been very supportive during the day shift, restoring much more pleasant memories of her brief stay in hospital.
Fiona achieved pregnancy within five months of our session and did have the home birth she wanted. She was surprised when she returned to the same hospital for her antenatal scans to feel very relaxed with not a trace of anxiety regarding her surroundings.
If you would like to find out how I can help you to clear your fears and phobias, visit my Pure Therapy Programme page. Alternatively, use the form below to drop me a line or call and speak with me directly on 01276 21386.
Conception & Birth Services
Pure Therapy Programme Brief therapy to dissolve your fears, phobias, anxieties and any emotional trauma. This programme focuses on calming your mind, restoring your confidence and self-esteem, giving you back a sense of control in your life as well as the clarity to make important decisions.
Essential Support Programme Regular, short check-in sessions by phone to keep you calm, relaxed, optimistic and positively focused between significant milestones from conception to birth. The therapeutic toolkit enables sabotaging emotional wobbles to be dissolved in an instant.
HypnoBirthing® Classes The ultimate in birth preparation classes to teach both you and your partner how to use hypnotic relaxation skills, special breathing techniques and endorphin releasing massage to manage the physical demands of labour and feel calm, relaxed and confident during the birth.
Parent Coaching Programme No baby arrives with a manual and few parents have endless hours to devour a ‘how to’ book. Parent coaching is a supportive route to helping you create your own practical solutions to whatever parenting challenges you are facing, in time sensitive short sessions.