Postnatal Depression
Jayne contacted me to see if I could help clear the emotional issues which were contributing to her postnatal depression. Jayne had already been prescribed anti-depressants by her GP but wasn’t happy with the side effects of the medication.
When we first spoke, Jayne was experiencing many of the classic symptoms of postnatal depression. Overwhelmed and unable to cope, Jayne was experiencing irritability, feeling easily angered, tearful and struggling to sleep at night. Finding it hard to concentrate on everyday tasks and even harder to make simple decisions without asking for a second opinion, Jayne felt she was losing the person she was before birth. She felt utterly demotivated and worried that she wasn’t bonding with her daughter in the way she wanted.
Jayne explained that life before motherhood included a great social life with her husband and a very successful career. She had longed for a family and believed that her organised and orderly approach to life would serve her well for the practicalities and demands of motherhood. As we talked further, it became apparent that whilst pregnancy had been straightforward, difficulties had started when Jayne went into labour. Unable to manage the intensity of her contractions, she had reluctantly agreed to needing stronger pain relief which necessitated birthing in hospital.
The first emotions we cleared in therapy were feelings of frustration and failure for not achieving the birth she had intended at home. These were followed by feelings of intimidation, lack of control and embarrassment during the birth which Jayne found a very inhibiting experience.
Jayne went on to describe the difficulties she experienced in the first fortnight with breastfeeding, another aspect of motherhood she anticipated would be natural and straightforward. The reality of breastfeeding had been a great deal of discomfort, frustration, intimidation and despondency, along with a reluctance to initially ask for help from her local breastfeeding counsellor. As we dissolved these emotions we also cleared feelings of shame and lack of control at not succeeding to feed her daughter with ease.
At the end of the first session, I asked Jayne to start journaling five positives observations each day, no matter how small. I wanted her to start spotting what she was doing well to start shifting her focus to her achievements. I also asked Jayne to note down observations in terms of mood swings and to schedule thirty minutes when her husband was home to take a relaxing bath and listen to a short relaxation CD to build her self-esteem and confidence and give her a much needed break to recharge.
At the start of the second session, Jayne was much brighter and reported a significant improvement in her mood and attitude over the week. Her husband had noticed improvements and had made sure she had the space each evening to focus on relaxation. The journaling activity had highlighted issues relating to post birth body image and aspects of motherhood which Jayne struggled with or found overwhelming.
We started with body image and Jayne talked of how she felt by the state of her body, especially the stretch marks which she was uncomfortable looking at or touching. We worked on dissolving feelings of sadness, anger and grief because the markings were irreversible. After clearing these emotions, Jayne was willing to look at her stretch marks and touch them which was a big step in coming to terms with them.
Next we tackled a list of emotional issues and beliefs relating to different aspects of motherhood. Many of these issues related to the common stresses that go hand in hand with having a baby, along with a reluctance to ask for help. Again, Jayne felt this should be instinctive and so we dissolved the anger, frustration, lack of control, feelings of despair and a lot of anxiety and panic tied to these issues. Jayne also admitted to feelings of jealousy towards friends who she thought were coping well and a strong sense of loss for the freedom she no longer felt. Finally, we cleared anxiety about the overwhelming responsibility Jayne felt on a daily basis.
At end of this second session Jayne was much more relaxed and feeling objective about life and motherhood. She was also recognising that many of these issues reflected common anxieties and frustration and were part of adjusting to life as a mother. Jayne decided to continue working for a couple of further months with a different style of support and opted for a couple of months of parent coaching. We spoke weekly by phone to work on Jayne’s confidence, self-esteem, baby bonding, parenting routines and I helped her to find her own workable solutions for an parenting challenges, dissolving anxieties when they surfaced.
Jayne has since completed her coaching programme and is shortly due to start phasing off her medication under the supervision of her GP.
Whilst postnatal depression may be the result of a hormonal imbalance, there is a great deal of evidence that points equally towards the emotional impact of motherhood. A birth experience which doesn’t meet with expectations can start a domino effect with the stresses and realities of caring for a newborn start to sink in. Motherhood can feel very overwhelming and isolating as the simplest of everyday tasks become challenging, such as getting dressed and eating breakfast before early afternoon in those early weeks.
As we find ourselves feeling exhausted amidst feeding, changing and bathing our babies, it is easy to be seduced by stories and programmes depicting motherhood through ‘rose tinted spectacles’. These glimpses of parenting often glosses over the real story which is a much more mixed bag of special times balanced with equal periods of hard graft despite chronic sleep deprivation. Given the nine months of adjustment it takes to accommodate a pregnancy both physically and emotionally, we need at the very least, a period of equal adjustment to get to grips with the new routines and responsibilities of motherhood in this period of radical change.
So, if you think you are experiencing more than the ‘baby blues’ in the days after birth. If feelings linger and increase, do find the courage to approach your midwife, health visitor or family GP for help. They will be able to offer you a thorough assessment and make recommendations for therapy or prescriptive medication. With your doctor’s approval, I am more than happy to work with you in private therapy to clear the emotional issues contributing to your depressive mood, and help you to regain your self-esteem and confidence as a mother.
If you would like to find out how I can help you to clear the emotional issues surrounding your experience of childbirth and early motherhood, visit the Pure Therapy Programme and for follow-on support after therapy, you may like to visit the Essential Support Programme page. Alternatively, use the form below to drop me a line or call and speak with me directly on 01276 21386.
Conception & Birth Services
Pure Therapy Programme Brief therapy to dissolve your fears, phobias, anxieties and any emotional trauma. This programme focuses on calming your mind, restoring your confidence and self-esteem, giving you back a sense of control in your life as well as the clarity to make important decisions.
Essential Support Programme Regular, short check-in sessions by phone to keep you calm, relaxed, optimistic and positively focused between significant milestones from conception to birth. The therapeutic toolkit enables sabotaging emotional wobbles to be dissolved in an instant.
HypnoBirthing® Classes The ultimate in birth preparation classes to teach both you and your partner how to use hypnotic relaxation skills, special breathing techniques and endorphin releasing massage to manage the physical demands of labour and feel calm, relaxed and confident during the birth.
Parent Coaching Programme No baby arrives with a manual and few parents have endless hours to devour a ‘how to’ book. Parent coaching is a supportive route to helping you create your own practical solutions to whatever parenting challenges you are facing, in time sensitive short sessions.